Thankful

 I give thanks to God for each day I am among the land of the living. I don't need a holiday to remind me to give thanks.I have so much to be thankful for one day would hardly be sufficient. 

The stores go all out and set up elaborate displays to convince you that you need to spend your money on overpriced food, cook a special meal, invite your family over, to show how thankful you are.

I am not anti -Thanksgiving Day. I know that many families look forward to this time of year. My point is you don't need a special day or special meal to come together with your family to express how thankful you are.

As you sit around the table to eat and give thanks, remember to bless the cook and remember those who are jobless, homeless, or don't have family.

Queen of Hearts

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

 

Hindsight is always 20 20 as it allows you to learn from your mistakes. Lately I've had a lot of time to reflect back over my life. Yesterday is history. I can't undo anything that has happened or didn't happen for me. Today the decisions I make will determine my tomorrow. So here are my coulda, woulda, shoulda list.

Coulda

I coulda been more persistent.

I coulda taken more chances.

I coulda made better choices.
I coulda been more assertive.

I coulda spoke up for myself.

Woulda

I woulda completed more if I didn't procrastinate.

I woulda achieved more if I believed in myself.

I woulda lived more if I wasn't living to please others.

I woulda implemented my great ideas if I wasn't a perfectionist.

I woulda been motivated if depression didn't consume me.

Shoulda 

I shoulda took the time to love me.

I shoulda did the things that made me happy.

I shoulda had more self-confidence.

I shoulda had a daddy who loved, affirmed and protected me.

I shoulda had a husband who was not abusive.

 I live with no regrets. I am who I am because of all my life experiences. I believe that with all my  

gifts, talents ,faults, shortcomings, and idiosyncrasy, I'm still a good person with a lot to offer.

Queen of Hearts

R. I. P. Mama

Mama you're the Queen of my Heart.

Catherine Williams July 28, 1932 - November 13, 1997

 November is usually a somber month for me. I still grieve for my mom. I never got to say goodbye. Today makes 13 years that my mother went to be with the Lord.

This November is bittersweet. Although I still grieve,  I was blessed to watch the birth of my fifth grandchild on November 9th . A beautiful baby girl who is a perfect reflection of God's grace.

I would give anything to pick up the phone and talk to my mother. She was the best mother in the world. Sometimes just hearing her voice made whatever I was going through at the time bearable.  She was full of wisdom, kind, generous, loving, thoughtful, and loved by everyone who knew her.  She was affectionately know as Mama Cat to her grandchildren who still talk how much they love and miss her. 

I find myself teaching my children the same things she taught me. Sometimes I use the exact words. Some of my mama's pearls of wisdom:

a. Manners - Saying please and thank you will take you a long way in life.

b. Visiting - Make your visits short. People will get tired of you. Know when to take your behind home.

c. Decisions - Always be willing to suffer the consequences of any decision you make good or bad.

d. Drugs & Alcohol - If it was good for you, I would have plenty of here for you.

e. Roof over your head - Always pay your rent if you don't pay anything else. You can sit in the dark in your own place and someone will always feed you. But people aren't willing to have you live with them.

f.  PDA - Don't allow anyone to  kiss, hug , grope and feel all over you in public. Always be a lady in public and be respectable.  What you do behind close doors as two consenting adults is your business and should always remain that way.

g. Truth - Your word is your bond. If you said you would, do it.  Always have integrity. The truth needs no proof.

h. Liars- Liars can't be trusted. If you lie you will steal and if you steal you will kill.  Liars have to always look over their shoulders and try to remember the lies they told.  

i. Jesus Moments - There will come a time in life when everything seems to go wrong, or you don't know what to do. No one can help you not even your mother. Just remember these are Jesus moments and know that nothing lasts forever, you will make it through and this too shall pass. Just call on Jesus and give Him time to work it out.

I could go on forever with the pearls my mother left me.  I can't remember them all in one sitting but, the appropriate one always come to mind when I need it.

 As I sat observing my daughter with her new baby,  I thanked God for three generations in the room.  At that moment I had an epiphany,  Matriarch of my family is my role. I am my mother's oldest living child. My brothers tell me I act like Mama Cat, my children tell me I remind them of Mama Cat. I accept that compliment and wear that moniker with pride. I know that I represent the best of my mother.

Now there is a new generation of children to love.  To them I am affectionately known as Nana and although they never got to personally meet Mama Cat,  her love and influence lives on  through me.

Queen of Hearts

Accepting Applications

 Full time position available.

Now accepting applications

Experience in love preferred, but will accept a young trainee.

Qualifications-
The individual must be a non-smoker, drug free, disease free, drama free, non-violent, single and available.

Should enjoy music from all genres, concerts, theater, movies, dancing, traveling, walks on the beach, attending social events, and cuddling on the couch.

Ability to connect mentally and physically. Willing to put in the time it takes to get to know someone because it is a process. Be prepared to date, pamper, and spoil.

Able to communicate, be open minded, have an opinion, read literature and discuss current events. Be intelligent, street savvy, self-motivated, confident, trustworthy, passionate, creative, sensitive and romantic.

This position will be filled immediately if you are qualified.

Queen of Hearts

Bitch Please!

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.~ George Santayana

The other day I received an email from an ex-girlfriend. It said,"Your birthday is fast approaching. I can't help but think of you. Sorry I hurt your feelings and I only hope that we are past that by now. I would love to celebrate your birthday, before-during or after. My number is still the same. I forgot yours."

Really? Are you fucking serious?  My last words to her were, "BITCH lose my number and don't ever call me again. Forget you knew me and if you see me on the street look the other way."

What makes you think I would want to go through all that bullsh*t with you again. You are my ex for a reason. Never again, not in this life or the one to come. I will spare the details surrounding the relationship because they are not important. There are two sides to every story.

Looking back and remembering the old times through rose colored lens everything was all good.  As you allow time to pass you forget the bad things and remember only the good times. You begin to think about your ex and the history you share how you know each other so well. You begin to think she wasn't so bad maybe we can pick up where we left off. Familiarity feels so good.

Consider why you broke up.  Would you do it again? Why are you thinking about your ex now?  What triggers these thoughts? Is it because you are in a rut? Lonely? Depressed? You can't move on? Remember because you are in love, does not mean the feeling is mutual. Your ex may have moved on.

It can be extremely difficult to stay away from someone you once loved. Just remember when you go back to your ex there will be a honeymoon period. Then old habits will resurface. Their annoying behaviors, bad character traits, snoring, laugh, past hurts or whatever you couldn't stand about them before will still be there.  You may regret going back and being forced to relive past pain.

You are not obligated to return any phone calls, texts, or emails to your ex.  It is best not to start talking or hanging out with them lest you fall back into old habits. You start talking regularly, you are invited to lunch, dinner, weekend get -away, then spending the night at each others place, and soon you are back into a relationship.

Don't expect a reply to your email or a telephone call. I'm glad you lost my number so you won't be texting me or leaving me pathetic messages on my telephone.  You remain kicked to the curb, down the drain and into the sewer.

Forgiveness has set me free. I am not mad nor angry. I have chosen not to revisit that closed chapter in my life.  I respect myself and realized what I want and it does not include you. "Bitch"

Queen of Hearts

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves -Definition 1. Something about which one frequently complains. 2. A particular personal vexation.

When I started my list of pet peeves I was amazed at how quickly I reached 50. I had to stop because I realized  I had a problem. Given this, I reduced my list to 25.

1. People who touch the top of my glass. I hate it when a waitress picks my glass up by the top where I have to place my lips.

2. People who cut in line. If I have to wait my turn in line, so do you.

3. Getting disconnected after being on hold forever.

4. People who park crooked or take up two parking spaces.

5. People who talk on the phone and text while driving.

6. People who send text message forwards to my cell phone.

7. People who place used chewing gum under the table or chair.

8. Cashiers who can't count change back to you.

9. People who must have constant drama in their lives.

10. People who double dip.

11.People who chew with their mouth open or smack when eating.

12. People who don't replace or tell you there is no more toilet paper.

13. People who talk during the movie or play.

14. People who don't wash their hands after using the toilet.

15. Women who wear to small clothes.

16.  The small expiration dates on food packages.

17.  Placing an order at  the local drive-thru and the person taking your order can't speak English.

18. Rude people who bump into you and don't say excuse me.

19. While waiting in the line at the bank or grocery store, I have to hear your entire telephone conversation.

20. Bad customer service.

21. Redundant paperwork required by county, state or federal government.

22. Receiving chain letters in my email.

 23. People who merge onto the freeway and slow down instead of speeding up.

24. People who exhibit (PDA) public displays of affection.  Get a room please.

25. Applying for a job and under qualifications it reads: bilingual Spanish, preferred, required, or a must.

Queen of Hearts

Creator or the Creation

The Spirit of GOD dwells within me.  My personal relationship with GOD is not based on any organized religion, leader, or movement.

Some of my deepest hurts, most painful memories, and betrayals came from people within the church. It wasn't sinners or unsaved heathen who hurt me.  It was Bible toting, tongue talking, crucifix wearing, holy ghost-filled, self-righteous, judgmental, Saints of God, who annihilated my spirit.

I learned many years ago, no matter what title the man or woman of the cloth may hold, (i.e. Missionary, Evangelist, Bishop, Elder, Minister, Preacher, Teacher, Deacon, Pastor, Rabbi, Priest, Nun, Pope, Prophetess, etc.), they are human first.

In other words, they are men and women, who are not perfect, who struggle with the same emotions, temptations, sins and challenges that we all have.  It is important not to place your faith in man, but put your faith in GOD. Don't worship the creation (man), worship the Creator (GOD).

Many people have deviated from organized religion for many reasons. For some it was the reprehensible behavior exhibited by leadership with rituals, man-made rules, cliques, judgments and scandals. There is no perfect church. If one existed, as soon as you or I joined, it would become imperfect. Why? Because neither of us are perfect and at times we have succumb to our own vices. This is why it is so important that we learn to worship the Creator and not the creation.

Re-establish your focus!

Queen of Hearts