Tattoolicious

I have no predilection for tattoos of any kind. Using your body as a canvas does not appeal to me. There is nothing attractive or fascinating about it. I can't think of any word, symbol, quote, or name I would want permanently tattooed on my body.  Therefore, you won't find any on me.

The other day I learned one of my daughters had gotten a new tattoo. She sent me a picture via her blackberry. It was four skulls with pink bows growing up a vine. It was similar to this. What could I say she is grown. She told me, "I love skulls." Now she has five of them.

Most of the people I interviewed had obtained tattoos for different reasons. Some indicated it was done to prove how much they loved someone, honor a deceased love one, child's name, and they belonged to a group or organization. Many sailors, prisoners, musicians, motorcycle members, athletes,  display some form of inked art on them.

What is acceptable today may not be acceptable tomorrow.  I am all for self-expression but sometimes having a plethora of tattoos may cause people to make negative assumptions about you.  Some tattoos are so distracting it has prompted employers to have a no visible tattoo policy.

Getting a new tattoo because your favorite rapper or movie star has one is ludicrous. Young people don't think about Hepatitis, HIV, blood poising and skin infections. They just follow the passing fads,  talk about the rush they feel, how addicting it is, and how many more they are going to get.

I would not want this tattoo to be my claim to fame. 

What about people or artist who can't spell and end up with this.

Who wants to read the scripture about love while going through the back door? 

You can lick the kitty cat.

You can also lick the butterfly. You decide.

 You can brand your butt.

Inside the lip is available.

Don't leave out the tongue.

 There is no place sacred on the body. If there is a spot it can be tattoo.

I will never understand why some people choose to modify there body and endure the most excruciating pain for self-expression. As the Isley Brothers once said, "It's your thang do whatcha wanna do."

Queen of Hearts 

Is The Grass Greener?

After leaving a recent job interview, I called my oldest daughter to inform her that I'm moving to another state. I'm tired of California.  There is nothing happening here for me. My daughter replied,"again mom...really? When you get home check your email then call me with your decision."

 

Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side until you get there and see it is full of bullshit. I'll think I will stay put and continue to explore my options.


Queen of Hearts

February Makes Me Wonder

I'm sure that many florist, jewelers, candy makers,wedding planners, restaurants, hotels, motels, stores and street vendors made lots of money on Valentine's Day. After all February is the month of love.

I wonder how many couples broke up so one of them wouldn't have to purchase a gift for the other. I wonder how many couples argued because one didn't get the gift they desired or didn't appreciate what was done for them. I wonder how many ladies called their significant other to say "you don't love me because I didn't receive flowers at work." I wonder how many lovers had wonderful romantic plans and went all out to please one another. Expressions of love should be given all year. Love is  not about a man made holiday designed to make you prove how much you love someone and empty your pockets.

  Black History Month is also celebrated in the month of February. This is the month that Blacks and others commemorate African Americans who have changed the world.  How we were expected to tell our history that is so rich and vast in a month?

 When I was a youngster in school, back in the day, it was called Negro History Week. As usual, given the time constraint, we manage to celebrate in style all over the world. I wonder what the world would like be like if the slave ships only stopped in America. I know it would be void of the gifts, talents and contributions made by African people all over the world.

Queen of Hearts

Fortitude in 2011

 

It is with great fortitude that I continue to go the limit.

I feel like I have been through 

the  Fire

Through the Storm

and it is only February!

 I moved in January and everything I own is sitting in a 5'X10" storage unit. Now I have the pleasure of listening to my children dialogue about whose residence I can crash at and when. Of course they all claim that I am welcome to stay with them at anytime.  I always keep my suitcase and backpack ready for travel.

  My computer crashed not from a virus but a  nasty Trojan Horse who took over my computer and locked me out. I was devastated because I use my computer for everything. It is my life line to the outside world. Thank you Brian for doing what you do best and putting a sistah back online.

 I'm still searching for work and sending out Resumes and Cover Letters into cyberspace. Periodically, I may have interview and I'm usually told "you are over qualified" or " we went with a candidate that more closely matched our criterion" or "good luck with your search." Don't these people understand that I have student loans to pay back.

Someone stole my identity and used my social security number and earned $62,000 for the year. What a great year that individual had. It has been a nightmare for me having to prove to the IRS I didn't earn that money and I don't owe taxes on it.

Facebook is history. I shutdown my Facebook page and I don't miss it at all.. I thought about the plethora of information I was giving out on myself, children, friends and other family members without being forced or coerced. The cunning and deceptive ways of Big Brother were to much for me. So I shut the shit down!

No matter what comes my way I will survive.

Queen of Hearts

Books, Books & More Books

At the end of this month I will be moving from my apartment. What a way to start the new year . I hate moving with a passion. There are so many expenses involved, renting a truck , buying boxes, tape, bubble wrap and renting a storage unit.

Each time I move I downsize. My place gets smaller and smaller.

 

I gave away and donated many items. However, there is one thing  I can not part with, my books.

At one time I had so many books my friends and family had to complete index cards so I could keep up with which books were loaned out.

I have books I have already read, books I plan to read, books I am currently reading, books I just want to keep forever.

Many books are from school and my many continued education classes in the field of mental health.

I can spend all day in any book store not just Borders. I am perplexed about why we can't  find bookstores in the hood.  As long as the immutable lie that black people don't read continues, we may never see bookstores there.

I have several Bibles with different translations, reference books, concordances, and other materials. Ready to check and cross-reference the scriptures.

I love libraries as much as bookstores. Free internet and books galore.  It is  reprehensible that the days and hours that the library is available has been severely affected by budget cuts. 

 

Not only did I start my own book club, I also had membership at several other clubs. What can I say, I enjoy the fellowship and the lively discussions .

I'm sad my new place does not have room for bookshelves.

 So I have decided to donate or toss some of the paperback books and will pack up the rest of my precious books. So many decisions! Sigh.

 Time to contact my daughters and have them ask their  boyfriend, husband, fiancee, significant other, etc., to keep the last Sunday of the month free.

 I will help unload my things.  The boxes with the books will be placed towards the front of storage unit for easy access.

It will be daunting to adjust to a micro sized apartment. It won't be the same without my books all around me.

Queen of Hearts

2011

Queen of Hearts

R.I.P. Daddy

 

Daddy Charles  12-23-1928 to 08-21-2002

I knew who my dad was but did not really know him.

I always wanted to be daddy's little girl and have my dad tell me how much he loved me, how pretty I am, how smart I am, and how proud he is of me. Sadly, it never happened. As an woman I can see that being affirmed by your father is crucial.

 

Today is my dad's birthday. I can't tell you how many pictures I drew and birthday cards I purchased for him that he never received. 

I remember my dad being very tall, handsome, quite, smoking either a pipe or a cigar. He worked for VA Hospital for over 32 years. I was always told he worked with crazy folks. He loved music and had a music collection to die for. He always drove a Cadillac and purchased a new one every 2-3 years.. My dad wasn't very talkative or affectionate. As a teenager he didn't take any interest in me or my life that I know of. But, there was always a gift for me on my birthday and Christmas waiting for me at my grandmother's house.

I was always happy when my father came to pick me up. I loved my daddy so much. I would only be happy for a short time because he would drop me off at his mother's house and then leave. If he was home there was little or no interaction with him. I spent most of my time with his mother who loved me dearly.  

I know he was a ladies man because my grandmother always complained about all the women that he had and how none of them were any good, including my mother.  My grandmother didn't think anyone was good enough for her son.

Did I mention that my dad was a momma's boy and lived with his mother until he married in 1987. The woman he married was a few years older than me with two daughters that he raised.

I have no pictures of me and my dad together. I am his only child. I don't remember my dad holding me, talking to me, reading to me or spending quality time with me. I said, I don't remember.  However, that does not mean it did not happen.

Isn't your dad suppose to be the first man you fall in love with?

Every year I purchased a Father's Day card for my father. When he died I had 25 Father's Day cards that I signed, addressed and never mailed. I wanted so much for him to be the King of my heart.

So, I had no father at my Middle School, High School or College graduation. No picture with my dad celebrating my accomplishments.

No dad walking me down the isle when I got married.

My children and I attended my father's funeral. His co-workers were shocked and surprised that he had a daughter and grandchildren. Many told me he never mentioned he had a child, never showed one picture. They all said, "when I saw your son walk in I knew that had to be his son or someone closely related." It 's funny how genes mix. My son looks just like my father.

As I sat through the service, people praised my father and talked about what a wonderful man he was. There were many testimonies of how he changed their lives and  he was the person they could always count on. Some people cried and could hardly get through their speeches as they talked about the love they had for him and told funny stories about his love for music, cowboy movies and playing bid whist.

After it was all over, I left the cemetery wishing that I had the opportunity to love and know the man that his co-workers loved and adored.

I don't know all the things that happened with my dad, my mother or my grandmother. When you are a child you make assumptions about what you see and think you know. When you become an adult you realize there was lot of missing facts. I still deal with issues of rejection and abandonment based on the relationship or  (lack of) with my father. However, I love my daddy.


 Queen of Hearts