Saturday, September 11, 2010

What's Up With Your HAIR

I'm tired of everything about hair- having it, combing it, and thinking about it. I am sad, displeased and sometimes depressed about my hair loss. I choose to wear my hair short because my hair is thin and has bald patches that appear in the crown of my head. So right now, I'm wearing my hair cut low,  faded in the back and on the sides.

Although I am not my hair, other peoples unflattering comments can be a bit much. My children and grandchildren have voiced their opinions about my current hair style. I've noticed some men will scan me rapidly and look away. I know men love long hair real or fake. Some women look at me distastefully like they smell shit.  All I can think is "bitch you don't know me." I have received some compliments but the negatives out number the positives. One thing I have learned in life is you can't please everyone and I don't try.

How you wear your hair is a political statement.

 Wearing your hair straight (pressed, relaxed or weaved) is considered beautiful.

You are accepted and fit the image of the European women

Hair styles like Afros

 Locks and braids are undesirable.

When you wear these styles you are viewed as militant, lazy, ghetto, and unkempt. We reject these images and chase a pseudo image of a white woman. For a long time many of these styles were considered in appropriate for the business world.  Although there are laws to protect us from this type of discrimination, the negative perceptions that many people have about African hair still remains.  These negative perceptions not only exist outside our race but inside as well.

I remember in high school and wearing a large Afro. It was nice and round and I wore it proudly.  It was part of my culture and my political statement, I'm black and I'm proud. 

My grandmother said to my mother, "you should be ashamed of yourself letting that girl run around looking like a wild  heathen bout the head."  I also remember the day the Pastor of our family church said to me,"you can't sing in my choir with no natural. That is not godly it is worldly and we can't have that up in here. You gon have to press your hair if you want to sing in my choir." Last of all, I remember working for a major insurance company, when my supervisor pulled me aside and said, "the customers really like you and think you are a wonderful person. However, you frighten then with your hair like that. It makes you look a little rough."

The thought of going into a shop to get my hair "did" just makes me ill. Over the years, I have sat in many salons, under many dryers, and in styling chairs and literally cried. I just can't understand why it takes soooo loooong to get beautiful. I never had the patience to sit in a shop for 3-4 hours. I love going to the barber shop. In and out 20 minutes max not to mention half the price.

I could go on and on about the comments people have made about my hair. I have worn my hair long, short, braided, weaves, wigs, and Afros of varying lengths. No matter what style, type or color, someone had a opinion about it. That color makes you look old, that length makes you old, that makes you like a man, that makes your head look bigger, and that makes you look like 

People can't do anything about the size of their head, or if their hair is thick or thin, long or short,  nappy, straight or curly. Don't add to the stress.  If you can't give a compliment, don't say anything.

The next time you see someone with a hair style you wouldn't wear, don't judge.  Some people have hair issues.

Queen of Hearts


  1. I’m a man, so the argument is that I should care less about my hair and yet when I began losing my hair, I panicked. The obvious choice – to me at least – was to take it to the next level and just accept being bald. Now, I can grow hair, but choose not to fret with trimming it just right to avoid the obvious areas that aren’t growing as quickly or full; All to say that hair loss is traumatic for men – even more so for women. Folks preach that a woman’s hair is her crown and glory, but let me be honest and say that I prefer a woman who can confidently wear her hair short, shaved, etc. than one who is wearing a tired, funky and ‘spookable’ weave. Proudly wear your hair short and do things that compliment the look…wear appropriate, yet flattering make-up, beautiful accessories and enjoy the time you’re saving from pressing, combing, wrapping and caring for the locks. Finally, add up the amount of money you would have spent if you were maintaining a great weave and use that cash for an incredible vacation each year. Call it your HAIRCATION. Stay beautiful and keep passin’ the open windows.

  2. I shaved mine tonight before I jumped in the shower. I shave mine at least once, usually twice a week. Hair is definitely overrated on a man.