Monday, August 30, 2010

Unthinkable Thoughts

It all started over a cup of coffee! There must be something in the coffee.

I was sitting at a table at my local Starbucks coffee shop, deep in thought, enjoying my favorite drink a Caramel Macchiato. He walked through the door. I paused, cup in mid- air, he took my breath away. I thought the unthinkable.

My, My, My, he was pleasing to my eyes. Tall, dark, fine, with strong muscular arms, broad shoulders and a small waist. Thank you GOD for creating such a beautiful human being. More unthinkable thoughts.

As he ordered his coffee, he nonchalantly scanned the room for a table. Our eyes met, he smiled and displayed the prettiest white teeth and dimples on each cheek. More unthinkable thoughts. He paid for his coffee and approached my table and asked,"May I join you?"

We exchanged pleasantries, went through the mini interviews. But me, I decided to be stank and give one word answers and cleverly not reveal any information about me. I could surmise from his conversation he grew up in the school of hard knocks. A bad boy with street knowledge and an education unafraid to go after what he wants.

Him: "Why is a beautiful women like you all alone on such a beautiful day?"

Me: "Reflecting."

Him: "Why don't we exchange numbers?"

Me: Hesitating, "Why?"

Him: "I'd like to get to know you better"

Me: "Really?"

Him: "I like what I see beautiful face, skin, curvy body, full lips, beautiful legs and brains."

Me: "Are you sure want to get to know me or my body?"

Him: "I'm attracted to intelligent women."

Him: I'm not interested in sleeping with you, yet. I want to know what's on your mind, where your head is. You play a good game of cat and mouse. Once I get your mind, I got your body."

Me: "You think?"

Him: "The chase, right? Now how about that number?"

Me: Thinking, Damn! I like his swagger.

Queen of Hearts

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Money, Money, Money

Most of my life I have heard people say "money is the root of all evil." This is one of the most misquoted scriptures in the bible. In I Timothy 6:10 it says, "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil,..." NKJV. Money in and of itself is not a problem but the love of money is. The love of money is a root (i.e. origin or source) though not the root, of evil.

Money is not a bad thing; It is needed. In fact the scriptures says, "But money answers all things." Ecclesiastes 10:19. Money is such a commodity that people are willing to beg, cheat, kill, lie, scam, steal and give up everything or do anything for it.

I learned to manage money by trial and error. My perception of money is that it is a means to an end. If managed properly, it can improve your quality of life. I quickly learned that it is not about how much money you make, it is what you do with the money you earn.

My children knew at early age that I was solely responsible for their needs. If they needed anything they were only allowed to ask me or their father. I was adamant about this as I didn't want my children wooed, exploited or enticed by unscrupulous people waving money in their face.

I never wanted my girls to feel they had to depend on a man to take care of them or pay for things they wanted by lying on their backs or on their knees. I never wanted my son to look for happiness in material things or feel he had to do illegal or unethical things to get what he wanted.

Money is a big deal to some people; however, it was not the main focus in my household. It was important that my children had a childhood, with age appropriate chores and activities. I tried to set example by demonstrating that hard work, sacrifice, saving, planning and setting goals is how you obtain the things you want in life.

In the pursuit of money, I learned that with money comes responsibility and no matter how much money you have you will always feel it is never enough. For me money comes and goes and I have learned to be content when money is low and when it is in abundance. I have had the "American Dream" - the big house, cars, the dog, college degree, money in the bank, vacations, American Express Card, 401K, and my own business. Money was just a tool which helped me give my children a better opportunity than I had.

I'm very wealthy because being rich is a state of mind. GOD, who has always been my source, keeps providing for me. I have my health, a loving relationship with my children and grandchildren whom love and adore.

For those of you with an insatiable appetite for money, I leave you with this quote from James Baldwin; "Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did."

Don't let money rule you!

Align Left
Queen of Hearts

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Joy of Being a Grandmother

I'm going to be a grandma for the fifth time. Soon a new baby girl will be added to our three generation family.

I was present during the birth of each of my grandchildren. Each experience just exciting as the first. After nine months of waiting, you finally get to see, hold and love the masterpiece GOD has created.

It's amazing to me how GOD can take the genes of both parents, which includes genes from generations past, and create a little person that looks like someone in the family from the past and present.

When I was pregnant with my children, I asked GOD if he would skip the flat feet gene and not pass it on to my children. Well, GOD has a funny sense of humor, and HE let me know who is large and in charge. Not only did GOD bless all my children with flat feet he gave all my grandchildren flat feet also. I guess artist are sensitive about their creations.

The best part of being a grandmother is spending time with the grandchildren, spoiling them, getting lots of hugs, kisses and then hearing those magic words, "bye Nana."

I love my grandchildren immensely, flat feet and all.

Queen of Hearts

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Little Humor about Bras

Finding the perfect fitting bra used to be a daunting task. That is until Oprah devoted an entire show on the benefits of being measured and wearing a properly fitted bra.

I wanted to share a funny an email about bras my friend sent me. Hopefully they will make you smile also.

FRIENDS are like bras close to the HEART and always there for support.
Have you ever wondered why A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,G, AND H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A) Almost Boobs.

(B) Barley there.

(C) Can't complain.

(D) Dang!

(DD) Double Dang!

(E) Enormous!

(F) Fake

(G) Get a Reduction

(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't up!

A man goes into a store to buy his wife a bra. The clerk asked, " what kind are you looking for?"
The man looked around overwhelmed by all the bras and asked, "Can you tell me the difference?"
The clerk said," sure there are four types:"

Catholic type support the Masses.

Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.

Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright.

Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.


I hope they made you smile.

Queen of Hearts

Locked Up

My nephew, who is 22, was recently sentenced to four (4) years in Folsom State Prison. Up until that time my nephew had never been in any trouble. It really hurt me that my nephew had become a statistic. Another young black man incarcerated.

In his first letter to me, my nephew explained why he ended up behind bars. He said,"I had a job but, it wasn't enough money. I made barely enough to pay my phone bill and buy food. I wanted to get the gold chain, nice clothes, nice car, and money in my pocket so I could kick it with my girlfriend. I had to do what I had to do."

I really don't know what to say about this microwave (I want it right now) generation. After reading his letter I went to his "My Space" page. I was greeted by some gangsta rap song that continued playing as I skimmed his page. There are pictures of him throwing up signs and posing as if he was a tough guy. There are a few vulgar words directed a some individual or groups unknown to me. There are also RIP epitaphs on the photos of some of his homies. I guess this was his way of expressing who he is.

After leaving "My Space", I thought about how much influence the Hip Hop Culture had on him. After all, he mentioned wanting to attain many of the things exhibited by rappers. Who, if anyone is the blame. ? Is it the "bling"," bling" of the BET and MTV videos? Environment? Parents?

I personally believe there is a correlation between Rap music, criminal behavior, drug use and increased sexual activity. So many young men look up to rappers and see them as role models. This is because they are inundated with images of diamonds, gold, cars, drugs, money and other visuals that fosters criminal behavior. There are other factors that influence such as, single parent, poverty, drug addiction and mental illness.

However, the parents are ultimately responsible for raising and teaching their children. It is imperative that parents step up and stop allowing the television, neighborhood drug dealers and pimps, to teach their children morals and values.

I made a commitment to support my nephew. With each letter I tell him how much I love him, he will make it through this and I expect great things from him. I also seek guidance from GOD about what words or life lessons I can deliver through my letters. I know that one day, my nephew will rise from this experience a wiser and stronger man.

Queen of Hearts

Friday, August 20, 2010

Prayer Warrior

I rely on prayer. Prayer brings me peace. I pray to God, who is called by many names and worshiped in many ways. I thank God for my prayer time, quiet, time, praise time and grateful time.

Some have called me a prayer warrior and even stated, "I wish I could pray like you." The key to prayer is simplicity. You don't have to impress God will a large vocabulary or long memorized prayers. God has instructed us to pray without ceasing. Short, simple, powerful prayers. You can pray while you eat, walk, drive, work, or stand in line at the store.

I believe that God hears and answers prayers no matter where you are. The answer may not always come when you want. But the answer always comes in God's time.

Recently, I was blessed to move into my own apartment. It is not located in the best neighborhood. In conversations with my new neighbors I was told about the negative things that went on before I moved in. I prayed the prayer of binding and loosing Matthew 16:19.

"God, I thank you for my new apartment you blessed me with.
I pray that you bless this apartment building and every family that lives in it.
I loose joy, peace and harmony among the neighbors. Bless them with what they need.
I loose Angels to encamp around this building protecting us from all danger.
I bind drive by shootings, gang violence, drug dealing, prostitution, and domestic violence.
I thank YOU God it is done, in Jesus Name. Amen."

There have been no problems and I don't expect any.

When I open my eyes in the morning, the first thing I say is "Thank you God for another day."
I'm in constant communication with God from the time I wake up, all throughout the day and in the evening when I go to bed. If I am out at the store and can't find parking, I will pray, "God I thank you for a parking space," and one will open up for me. In business matters, I will pray," GOD please give me favor in this situation," and it is turned in my favor. These are examples of short simple prayers that I have prayed in addition to my regular prayer time with GOD.

I don't want it to appear that I am not challenged in prayer. Sometimes I get impatient and wonder why things are taking so long. I try to help GOD out by trying to do it my way and make things worse. I also have to sometimes pray," GOD, please forgive me any for doubt, unbelief, impatience or wavering in faith." I am human.

Occasionally, you may find it difficult to give thanks when you are going through tough times, financially or physically. Pray to God ask for the things you need. Then thank GOD as though you have already received the things you need. God will provide.

Thank you GOD for another blog post. I pray these words will encourage all who read it. May they continue to pray until you answer.

Queen of Hearts

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Don't Text Me

I loathe text messaging.
It's because of my children that I keep up with technology. They strongly encouraged me to learn how to text and be part of the 21st Century. I will be the first to admit I felt very incompetent and frustrated while acquiring this skill.

There are three reasons I despise text messaging and the way it has changed my life.

1. I receive incomplete abbreviated text messages I can not decipher. Before I can respond, I have to consult the text message glossary, text message abbreviation page, along with the icons and symbols directory. One of my daughters had the audacity to tell me she hated receiving text messages from me because I type out every word.

Tell me who can decode this: AFAlK BM&Y H8 B3 ruok

2. I believe text messaging makes people lazy about learning and using proper English. Remember the big deal made about using slang, and talking in Ebonics? Well, add text lingo to that list. In text lingo the spelling is atrocious, punctuation and grammar are worst. Yet it appears to be acceptable today.

3. Text messaging disconnects you from others and promotes rude social behavior. I personally think it is very rude to take every call from your cell phone when you with others. It is equally rude to sit and send text messages while at dinner or on a date. How can you enjoy the company of others when your attention is elsewhere.

Texting is so impersonal it has taken the place of telephone or in-person conversations. Remember when you could expect a phone call from friends and family during the holidays? Today people send mass text messages instead of picking up the telephone and talking. It is really a shame because sometimes you want to hear your love one's voice. Think about the last holiday. Did you receive a text message or a telephone call?

Queen of Hearts

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

D - I - V - O - R - C - E


Sometimes things don't work and you have to go your separate ways. It is never just one persons fault when a marriage ends. Each party has to take responsibility for their part in why the marriage didn't work. It's a daunting task because no wants the blame placed on them.

During my divorce, I created a song. Well, just a couple of lines sung in the tune of "Respect" by Aretha Franklin.
D - I - V - O - R - C - E ~ Find out what it means to me.
D - I - V - O - R - C - E ~ So glad to be set free.
I actually sang that song and did a little jig right after the court clerk signed my divorce papers.

My DIVORCE Acronym
A recipe for ending a marriage

D - Division - A house divided can not stand. Two people have to be in agreement for it to work.

I - Infidelity - You were unfaithful. Everyone knew but me.

V- Vision - We had dreams for our future. Somewhere we lost focus. Without a vision the marriage dies.

O- Other people, places and things became more important than the one you left behind.

R- Respect - Our vows were not appreciated. I was no longer deserving of your love.

C- Communication- The connection was broken- You wouldn't open your mouth. I was tired of being a dentist.

E - Emotional distress- I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking anymore.

Queen of Hearts

Monday, August 16, 2010

Why I Love Thugs

Today while standing at the bus stop, a young man caught my eye. We made eye contact and he smiled. He had missing teeth but those that remained were capped in gold. He was dressed in a black t-shirt, both exposed arms covered with tattoos, baggie jeans, a white wave cap with a black hat, and a long gold chain with huge cross. He sported a black backpack that held his inventory.

I continued to watch this young man interact with other people who had gathered to wait on the bus. He exhibited his gold grillz which shinned like his charismatic personally.

He approached me and asked, "Do you want to buy some movies today?"
I replied, "No thanks" but decided to engaged the young man in conversation.

Me: "Can you give me a lesson in Business 101 street style? What motivates you to get up every morning and sell movies?"

Him: "The Man upstairs, HE wakes me up every morning. Somebody didn't wake up this morning but I did. It's a beautiful day. I'm happy, no complaints and no reason to be mad."

Me: " How do you deal with the rejection?"

Him: "God said HE would supply all my needs. That means daily. I may be riding the bus, but one day I'm gonna be driving a truck. I may not have the best clothes or the best place to live, but I'm grateful. There is someone worst off than me."

Me:" What keeps you going?"

Him: "I'm out here for my son. My mother was a prostitute out here in these streets. I have to provide for my son and let him know that he can be whatever he wants to be. I've been out here on my own five years. I've been through a lot of things in these streets - slept on people's floor, I've been robbed, beaten, and a lot more. I can't let that stop me from what I got to do."

Me: "If you keep standing on the promises of God, you'll be okay."

Him: "Just like Peter, you know, God told him he could walk on water as long as he kept his eyes on God. As soon as Peter took his eyes off God he began to sink. I'm like Peter, my eyes are on GOD. I'm gonna be okay.

The bus arrived and I thought the young man was going to board. Instead he went the opposite way, crossed the street and stood at another bus stop. As the bus pulled off, I could see him flashing his gold grillz to other potential customers.

Sometimes we judge the messenger and miss the message.

I was inspired by this young man and his determination to make it. I wish him love, peace and blessings.

Queen of Hearts

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Golden Life

I love living alone. There is peace. My things are where I left them. I don't have to look at, be bothered with or listen to another human being. Just me, myself and I. It's wonderful to be with myself and my own thoughts.

Yes, I am an introvert. Some people (mainly those who don't REALLY know me) have a problem with it. I'm not a person who visits (unless invited) and I don't hang out much.

I can be a social butterfly when I want to. I enjoy going to the movies, plays, dinner, parties (i.e. birthday, card, naughty, Tupperware, pampered chef, etc.) but only when I want to.

I have close friends I've known for over 20 years. We don't talk everyday or hang out all the time. But, I would do anything for them and vice- versa no hesitation, day or night.

People who want to befriend me, get angry when I don't want to hang out or decline an invitation to their function. That's because they don't know me. Later I hear that I am stuck-up, anti-social, funny style, a bitch or I think that I am too good. Wrong!

It's not that I don't want to hangout or don't appreciate your invitation. I don't want to hangout with anyone. When I do have the need to socialize and be around other people, I pick and choose the events I want to attend.

I am alone by choice.

Queen of Hearts

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Grieving Heart

I received news that my cousin was diagnosed with cancer and it had spread throughout her entire body. Needless to say, I was devastated. After all, I along with many others have been in daily prayer for her complete healing.

What could I say to her? She is such a fighter always appearing very strong in faith. Why wasn't her body healed of this disease?

This horrific diagnosis caused me to start thinking about my own mortality. I became obsessive about the day I will, in fact die. My own faith was failing. Crazy right?

One thing I know for sure, the love of family and friends is all that really matters. Forgive, lose the drama, mend relationships and create memories.

Cherish the gift of life.

You can't pause life so...Live, Laugh and Love.

Queen of Hearts

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Let's Keep It Real

Have you ever been engaged in conversation and you said something that offends or stuns the other person?

Then you immediately recant by saying, "I didn't mean to say that" or "that was a Freudian slip."

Liar! Liar! Pants on fire. You meant exactly what you said. Why can't we say what is in our heart and be okay with it?

Keep it real -
-Be exact in what you are saying (Say what you mean, mean what you say)
-Be pleasant (You can say anything you want, it's the way you say it)
-Be accepting not judgmental
-Speak from your heart

~Queen of Hearts~